Take me to the highest peak of madness
Take me to the deepest pit of despair
But leave me not in between,
The numbing hell of the middle ground
Not wanting, not trying
Not hating, not bleeding
Not laughing, not crying
Not living, not dying
Nervous energy builds
Motivation wanes
An agonizingly tolerable juxtaposition
Only existing and waiting
To again reach the clouds,
To again fall off the cliff
Twiddling my thumbs in purgatory
Not caring which it will be this time
Wishing to move
Wishing to feel
Heavy shoulders slumping
Tired eyes drooping
Wanting connection,
Talking myself out of making one
Weakly waiting, pathetically present
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